by Matthew Simmons
Gerald Ford wakes up. He’s the president of his own morning. He opens both his eyes at the same time, like a president does. He is ready.
Gerald Ford wakes up and does one push-up. He takes four deep breaths. He gently slaps his face ten times: both hands, both palms, his cheeks, gets the blood flowing. He cracks his neck and cracks his back.
Gerald Ford opens the window and looks outside. It is spring. It looks like it’s going to be a nice day. He takes one more deep, deep breath, and he smiles.
And from somewhere out in this very nice day, he hears a shout:
“The fuck you pardon Nixon for?” he hears.
“I did it for America,” says Gerald Ford. And he slams shut his window and puts on his clothes. …[Keep Reading]…